Epic Fail

Totally Random: I love flirting with my husband so decided I would call on my inner sex goddess and start sexting. Now I'm no expert I'm not even that good at it but compared to my husband I'm the sext queen. It would be easier for me to upload the text from my phone, but I don't have an Iphone and don't know how to do it from my My Touch. I'm a simple bitch so I'm just gonna type it out...yeah that's right I'm going old school on y'all asses so here we go...


Ex #1) Me: Hey Hun I'm just getting out of the shower and as I was rubbing oil on me I couldn't help but to think about you and how your hands and mouth were all over me this morning and how much I want to feel them on me now...starting from my ear and trail down my neck then to my breast pleasuring my nipples and kiss from my stomach down to my.....
Hubby: I'm peeing and it reminds me of how warm you feel.

WTF really? soooo  urine makes you think of me. FAIL

Ex #2) Me: I'm sitting here at work feeling all hot and bothered just thinking about all the kinky fuckery we are gonna have tonight. hmmm I just might have to pay you a visit on my lunch break ;)

Hubby: Lunch sounds good can you bring me subway and I can lick the mayo off of you.

OMG this man really sucks at sexting like bad... I guess I will stick to flirting. FAIL


Healthy Me: This morning I was a little tired and really didn't feel like going for my run. My subconscious said that we should take a break and chill out for the day but that's just not possible. She was like " We don't need to run, just have sex with hubby and burn calories that way." so I thought about it and as tempting as that offer was I decided to run so I told her to stop being lazy and gear up. This was my best run ever! I ran 5k in 40min! HOLLA! You already know I was tired and winded and there was no way in H E double hockey sticks that I could run back home so I walked back happy as ever that I took that run. Have a great Sunday Hookers!


This is the trail I run on. (sorry for the crappy pic)